Everyday I vow again

I vow again to feel better. To be in a better mood.
But my vow is hollow -- hollow just like I feel.
Depression - One Person Stands Alone
I tell myself that I will force myself to do things, to participate, to act. I'll act not how I feel, but act how I am supposed to feel. I'll be better off. At least those around me -- the people I care most about -- will feel better about me.
Instead I spread my misery like an infectious disease.
Would I, would those I love, be better off if I was simply alone?